I wasn't able to post for a while since for some reason the internet kept giving me an SSL Error.

Anyway, I am only 127 days away from graduation and am only 130 days from my wedding.  I am very excited and everything seems to be coming together well for the events.

I have been working out lately which has been getting more fun.  When you don't suck, it's actually kinda enjoyable...

I really don't have anything to write...

I am so glad this semester is over!  It was such a long, brutal semester and I am thankful to finally be done.

At home now and I am going through all the boxes in my room deciding what I want to keep and what I will throw out.  There are a lot of memories in the random stuff but I am moving on.  I no longer need to have memories of 9th grade National Science Olympiads.  I am getting married and moving into a new stage of my life.  I'll keep the trophies but I no longer need the t-shirts that I competed in.  That sort of thing.  Lots of clothes I no longer wear which I let Allison rifle through before I take them to Goodwill.

AND!  I had my violin repaired today (which is awesome!) so I've been practicing.  I've played for an hour already and will probably play for another hour or two.  It feels so good to have my violin in my hands again.  Brings back so many memories and I love playing.  Makes me so happy :)

I am going home in five days.  Three more days of school, a day of study, a final exam and I board an airplane to come home.  I am pretty excited about that.  Plus, I get to see Josh in 17 days.  Little things.  It's the little things.

Four day week and then I get to see Joshua!  That makes my life so much better :)

Things Due This Week:
13 Nov: Capstone, Biology, CE, 440 GR, PPC appt, Wingman Day
14 Nov: ACES, MSS
15 Nov: Capstone, Biology, PE Lesson 1, Safety Briefing
16 Nov: K-4 Due, 460 project time, Aero, MSS Current Event presentation
17 Nov: LEAVE!!!!

I am sooooo excited!!  My mom said she'd take out her wedding dress and veil so I could potentially have them for my wedding (veil and tiara really) and I am going to take Joshua to the shop where we may get bridesmaid dresses so he can see those and it'll be amazing.

Four days!! Only 115 hours exactly :)

Phew.  Wedding plans are finally getting finalized.

Ceremony location - check
Ceremony organist - check
Ceremony officiant - check
Reception location - check
Reception caterer - check
Florist - check
DJ - check
Cake maker/decorator - check
Dress - check
Shoes - check
Registry - check

Things left to do:
Bridesmaid dresses
Wedding veil
Wedding hair stylist
Wedding makeup
Reception music (first dance, father/daughter dance, etc)
Purchase favor bags and contents
Purchase invites and programs
EDIT: Choose cake design

It's rather upsetting to know that I am so addicted to Joshua that I cannot function without having him around or knowing what he is doing.  I feel so sad when he isn't around and we can't talk or whatever...  He's been on leave since Thursday and goes back on Monday.  Because he's been gone though, we haven't been able to video chat since Wednesday night.  We still talk but I miss seeing his face and getting to see his smile as we discuss our day.  It's just not the same over the phone.

So apparently his sister is engaged but not engaged.  In other words, they've set a date for their wedding but they aren't actually engaged because they don't want to steal the limelight from Josh and I.  Which I kinda get but think is very silly.  Unless they're getting married like a year after Josh and I, we're going to be sharing the limelight together.  That's just the way it is.  I guess I'm lucky in that I don't have to worry about that considering none of my siblings are "on the market," as it were.  Susan won't get married until she finishes medical school (2015), Adrian (if he goes to USNA) can't get married until 2017, Allison doesn't graduate high school until 2014 and probably won't marry until after college...and Ian, Ian graduates high school in 2016.  Which means none of my siblings will be getting married until probably at least two years after me.  I guess I'm lucky in that way.

I completely restarted my wedding planning.  Same date, time, location, etc but I decided that I didn't like trying to do what other people wanted and am trying to do what I want instead.  That means that I have been     starting over with wedding plans working on a proper theme that I really like.  And here it is: a forest.  Our colors are blue, green and purple - like sage (or mint), sky blue and lavender.  I want it to invoke a peaceful forest meadow with trees and a cloudless sky.  With small purple flowers poking out amongst the mosses at the roots of the trees.

And that's the way it is.

I miss Josh.  11 days.

I miss Joshua so much.  There are many times when I really just want someone to talk to, someone to hug, someone to snuggle with, etc and he's not around.  When I want to go drinking, he's not here.  When I want to get coffee, he's not here.  When I want to go driving, he's not here.  When I want to go to the mall in Lone Tree, he's not here.  When I want to sleep in on the weekends, he's not here.  When I want to stay in bed on cold, snowy days with hot chocolate and a book, he's not here.  When I want to watch romances, he's not here.  When I want to watch action movies, he's not here.  When I want to kiss someone, he's not here.

He's not here.

Having to be away from him is terrible.  I don't know how I will survive when he deploys if I can barely manage when we're separated for the ten weeks it has been so far.  It will have been 13 weeks when I see him again.  It's amazing to know I'll see him in three weeks but it's just difficult having to be away from him.

I just want him here with me.

Soon.

I graduate in 254 days which means in 257 days, I will be his wife.