So, Josh started IFS on 4 January. It's been a rough month for me without him meeting me for coffee, calling me everyday, etc. It's really given me a chance to realize just how much I unintentionally have grown to rely on him. I used to think that I would be perfectly fine if anything happened and that when he left for Columbus, it'd be sad but not terrible. At this point, however, I'm already planning trips to visit him while he's at pilot training. It's actually going to be somewhat terrible... I miss talking to him, I miss seeing him but most of all, I miss hugging him. Not even doing anything, just standing there with my head buried in his chest and his arms wrapped around me. It's so comfortable and makes me feel safe and at home.

Which is another thing I've grown to realize. I'm equally at home with Josh as I am with my family. He's become so much a part of my life that I consider him my family. I consider him to be one of the most important parts of my life, right up there with my family. I would do anything for him, as I would my family, in a heartbeat.

How sappy and romantic. This is terrible.

School is going well. I'm enjoying my classes and seem to be doing relatively well. Yet again, this semester people seem to think I'm an incredible genius with a 3.something GPA. Surprise, no. However! I think there may be a chance that I could get above a 3.0 this semester if I really work hard. I believe I could probably pull an A in my philosophy class and also in my probability/stats and failure analysis class. I think I'm looking at a B for machine design and fluid mechanics. As for engineering math and materials science... I'm not really sure. Probably a low B/high C in engineering math. As for materials science...it all depends. I really don't know for sure.

I've been watching "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" (2009 version) with English subtitles. It's very interesting and I'm actually really enjoying it. I think they did a great job in keeping it true to the book. The sexual abuse scenes weren't too obscene either. I mean, it was obvious and disgusting what was happening but they kept it relatively within bounds of common decency.

Tomorrow is Friday followed by the weekend. I can't wait! Hopefully, I'll get to see Josh :)

After a glorious Christmas break, I have returned to USAFA. I'll write about my break in another post. This one will be more emotional ;)

I have been a huge mess of emotions lately. I have quite literally cried everyday in the month of January. It's rather upsetting because I'm not the emotional, crying sort. I just notice Josh and my relationship changing and it saddens me. We've gone from cadets together to a cadet/officer to now, a long-distance relationship where I cannot talk to him on a regular basis. It's especially difficult now because my family is on a cruise and I cannot talk to them either. So, I am, to a certain extent, all alone.

Of course, I'm really not all alone. I've been praying a lot more lately and listening to more Christian music and reading my Bible every night. All things I had fallen away from doing since break began. Just realizing that I have this need to be with people and connected has forced me to draw closer to God and embrace His love and greatness. One of the songs I've been singing to myself a lot lately (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2JR-fUGf-k&feature=related) is "In Christ Alone". The part where it says "my comfroter, my all in all, here in the power of Christ, I stand."

Life continues.

Life is going pretty well for me. I'm so glad the semester is almost over but it hasn't been too bad. The semester could be a lot worse but we're almost done and I had Josh to encourage me the entire time :)

5 days of class, 5 finals and then I'm going to go live at Josh's place until I have to leave for my break. :) I'm pretty excited.

This past weekend, Josh and I went dress shopping, Christmas present shopping and IKEA browsing. We also looked at a lot of different stores. It was an absolute blast. Most of the shops we went into were really nice shops and we were both wearing peacoats, looked rich, etc. The best part was definitely the number of people that thought we were married ;) It was so much fun and I had a great time hanging out with Josh and getting to know him better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgAlQuqzl8o

Pretty much anything by those guys is good - I'm listening to Moonlight right now. I love it :) It's almost time for me to go to class again so I'm going to have to finish this off soon such that I can make the wander from one end of Fairchild to the other end.

It snowed last night - about six inches. School wasn't even delayed :( Ah well...life goes on, I guess. It means school will finish at a normal time which means I'll have time to work on my paper and lab which are due tomorrow. AND I can do some practice problems for my Diff Eq GR tomorrow as well.

Ten minutes until class. Time to start packing up and getting ready to wander.

Back at USAFA. It's great to be back BUT it's even better to be with Josh again. I had an amazing day with him spending the entire morning hanging out and....napping ;) Lots of new things and such went on...

Josh brought me back a lovely new journal from Washington. Apparently some friends of the family do book binding, etc. And, therefore, he has one for me. It's a gorgeous dark blue fabric seam with a cream and blue flower cover. Thick cream vellum paper fills the insides - and it's fantastic! I really, really like it... :)

I can't wait to spend time doing more exciting things - school starts again tomorrow. :) Lesson T36 - 9 more lessons, 6 finals and I AM OUTTA HERE!!!

So, almost time to head back to USAFA, and I can't wait! It's about time for me to return to the land of my love so...yeahhhhh... I can't wait to be back with Josh again :)

Went for lunch with the girls today - it was marvelous. We spent half an hour eating and three hours talking. It was absolutely fantastic - I loved getting to see them again and just chatting :)

Ah well...time to get back to work on something else, I imagine... Stupid papers

I think my favorite part about this blog is no one reads it. Which means I'm quite literally free to write anything I want. I can write about what I like and what I don't like and I don't have to worry about some response or other... :)

My roomie is so annoying sometimes. She can be really nice and then really snobbish and sometimes I kinda sorta want to punch her. But I try to ignore her instead and it...sorta works. idk...w/e.

Josh leaves for Thanksgiving leave tomorrow. I'm going to miss him. I've kinda become used to heading over to his house every Friday night and staying until Sunday night. It's a nice routine and quite comfortable. But apparently....'tis not to be so. Instead, we have training this weekend and I won't be able to leave. Not that I'll want to as he'll be gone... sigh.

But I am going home - which is GREAT. I am planning on writing two papers I have and then sleeping and eating...and running. I'll probably go running a lot. And watch a lot of TV. And talk about Josh to everyone haha....

I dreamt about Josh last night, actually. Nothing special really - we were in Victoria for New Years and he kissed me. haha....SO cute, right?

UC2 is going well. I'm enjoying the class although it does make my arm sore after I finish it...

I'm trying to fix my arm. Apparently what they told me was a sprain back in August wasn't: it was a torn UCL. FANTASTIC. So I'm on ANOTHER form 18 and can't do any AFT/PFT nonsense. Highly depressing...

Life goes on...

At Josh's house right now. Had a pretty awesome weekend. It was a three day weekend so I quite literally have been here since Thursday night. Such a happy camper :)

Thanksgiving leave starts in 9 days - I'm pretty pumped but at the same time, I'm kinda nervous. I am going to have to drive myself up to the airport and I've never actually done that before. And then I'll have to park my car, remember where I parked my car and take a bus to the airport. And then I'll have to....well, really, do it all by myself. Normally I have at least one other cadet with me or my sponsor family or Josh going with me so I'm not quite as nervous but....whatever. It'll be a good fun drive haha.

I don't think I have any big tests or anything this week - thank goodness! I have a lab in Dynamics due on Wednesday but I'm pretty sure that's it. Makes me really happy, honestly. I can finally have a slow week. And, this weekend is a SAMI so I can inspect rooms and have a wonderful fun time :)

I'll miss Josh while I'm on Thanksgiving break but hopefully I can spend the time productively, writing a paper, spending time with Susan and overall enjoying life. We shall see...