...I wish...*sigh*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtMM2PXBm5M

You`re in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I`m with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you`re beside me and look how far we`ve come
So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We`re so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let`s go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

You Are a Semi-Colon

You are elegant, understated, and subtle in your communication. You're very smart (and you know it), but you don't often showcase your brilliance. Instead, you carefully construct your arguments, ideas, and theories until they are bulletproof. You see your words as an expression of yourself, and you are careful not to waste them. You friends see you as enlightened, logical, and shrewd. (But what you're saying often goes right over their heads.) You excel in: The Arts You get along best with: The Colon

What Punctuation Mark Are You?

Christmas!

I absolutely love Christmas.

This Christmas was great.

I loved it.

Songs

Dream on dreamer,
And the sun will always shine down on you
Keep on dreaming
It's alright, feel alive
Dream on dreamer,
And the world keeps spinning round and round,
You go,
Don't stop dreaming,
It's alright, we're alive ("Dream On Dreamer" by Cascada)

Come on,
Try and understand
The way I feel
When I'm in your hands
Take my hand
Come under cover
They can't hurt you now (x3)
Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to us
Because the night belongs to lovers
Because the night belongs to us ("Because the Night" by Cascada but also by Bruce Springsteen and Patty something or other...)

So, today I'm supposed to be doing lots of math, English, world history and British literature. However, I'm not. I'm not really feeling very well so I'm trying not to do much. I don't think I'm sick. I think I'm just nervous because of my interview. Because I have to fix an error in front of the entire board. Tell them that my application for nomination is wrong. And I'm kinda nervous about that. I'd prefer to just write them a letter, lol. I guess I have to take a stand, take action. And if it is an Epic Fail then it's an Epic Fail.

I'm so glad I don't really have to think or worry about colleges or anything. God is taking care of it all. I mean, of course, I can't be stupid at my interviews but I know that if it is God's will, He will allow it to happen. He will open the doors that no man can shut and shut doors that no man can open. It's all up to Him. It's in His hands and therefore, I don't have to concern myself with it. I will allow Him to run it. It's God Almighty, not Karen Almighty (thank goodness!).

We had a TEK meeting yesterday. (TEK is like a social group for homeschooled teens in 10-12 grade.) It was supposed to be a gift exchange but there were so many people we couldn't do an exchange. *sigh* I love gift exchanges.

The Senior Appreciation Banquet is coming up soon (last weekend in April). That's where all the seniors "bequeath" something to another grade student. And, the seniors all get "superlatives" awarded to them. (For example: my older sister received an AFROTC scholarship and they offered to present the award at her graduation. However, our "school" said that they couldn't do that because it wasn't fair to the other students (whatever!). So, instead, they awarded her a superlative "Most Likely to March" - puhlease! That's so lame, imho. Whatever. I'm kind of curious as to what they'll award me, lol. "Most Likely to Break Cliques", "Most Likely to Break the Status Quo", "Most Likely to Attend an Academy Just To Thumb Her Nose at All the Other Students who are Doing Nothing After Graduation"...hmmm...idk, lol.)

"What do you want from me,
This is love in the first degree,
Tell me why everytime
I feel your eyes all over me,
(what you want)" What Do You Want From Me by Cascada

7 D & C

Had an intra-squad swim meet today. Won first in 50m Butterfly. It was fun.

Calculus is awesome. I love it.

My parents bought me a bed yesterday!! I've been telling them that I need a new bed and my dad said they'd get me one for Christmas or just after and I was cool with that. Yesterday, I came home from work and they had bought me a new bed! They set it up, rearranged my furniture in my room, made the bed all pretty and got rid of my old one! I love it! I love them! *happy*

It's almost Christmas!!!

I'm sooo excited about the Dark Knights Gift Exchange TLP. I'm really happy and am jumping up and down.

Update

So now "Hannah" said she doesn't really care if she goes with "Adam" or not. Argh.

Never, ever, ever, ever ask a guy out for a friend. EVER.

(And plus, my dad keeps joking about how we should get a limo and everything. ARRRRGGHHHH!)

So yeah, those pix kinda describe me.

I have an 88% guarantee of alignment in my brain and I'm asking why. So many choices. So many decisions.

Especially as USAFA has accepted me now. Ahhh life-changing choices. Soooo complicated.

On another note, I have a funny story:

So this friend of mine, let's call her "Hannah", sort of likes this friend of ours (we'll call him "Adam"). The Cadet Ball (January 17) is coming up so I invited Hannah to go with me. I thought it'd be funny if we each took a date. (Of course, there's no way I'll find a date but I digress.) So I said she should ask Adam. Of course, she was really nervous and not wanting to. She said, "why don't you ask him?". Being me, I said, "Fine, I'll ask him." and went to find him.

However, first of all, I decided to ask his mom. (I have a couple guy friends who can't go to social dancing for family reasons and I didn't want to embarrass Adam or myself.) So I went and told his mom that he had to go to senior prom because it was senior prom and he had to go. She said that was fine. "While we are on the topic of dancing," I added, "there's this dance coming up ... [blah, blah, blah] ... and Adam should go." "Oh, that's fine. I don't mind. You're a nice girl and I have to like the girl Adam goes with so that's fine." she says. "Oh, Hannah'll be going to," I quickly amended, "So there'll be a bunch of us." "Hannah who? Oh...she's nice...but I like you so it's all good." My thoughts were: this is not going down very well...argh...

So then I asked Adam. "So, a bunch of us are going to this dance on January 17th. I'm going, and Hannah's going and -"
He interrupts: "I'm going!"
"Oh good," I replied and proceeded to give the details.

Then, I went to tell my parentals so that they'd know and my mother informs me that Adam's mother has come up to her saying that it's "soooo nice that Karen's taking Adam". *SIGH*

So Adam's mom thinks I'm taking him, Adam thinks it's a big group thing, Hannah's so excited that he's going, and I'm caught in the middle.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Never ask a guy out for a friend. Although it was fun to do and quite the experience, things will probably not work out the way they should and it will lead to extremely weird moments. (This moral reminded me of the part in Anne of the Island where Jane whatever-her-name-was asked Anne to marry Jane's brother because Jane's brother was too shy, lol.)

Loveliness.

Comments, thoughts and ideas on how to remedy this mess are greatly appreciated. :D

Life. Thoughts. Decisions.

13 days away! Less than two weeks! Rock on! \m/

So, yeah.

If you want a Christmas card you have to give me your address. That goes for everyone. :D Just email it to me or FB PM it...

I really like Cascada's music. It's like europop which is pretty much the best music ever. O-Zone and Eiffel 65 are other lovely Europop bands that I love. Her best song is definitely "Everytime We Touch" but there are other great ones too. Another video of that song is here and is very, very funny!

I'm working again today. Sometimes I really don't want to go to work because I just want to spend more time with ma famile. But, I have to go so whatever.

I was kind of hoping my mom would get this job at this place so I could be hired as a tutor for my siblings and could stop my job. But she didn't get it. They called this morning to say they gave it to someone else. So I have to keep my other job and can't be a super awesome tutor person. Sigh. Whatever. I'll get over it eventually...

I really like to just relax and hang out with my family. I also love to go dancing and partying. It really depends on the day. Some days I really just want to get out and go do something. Other days, I'm more than happy to stay at home.

Especially as it gets closer to college decision date. I still haven't heard anything from the Air Force Academy so I'm kind of nervous about that. But, I'm convinced God will have me accepted where I should go. In fact, if I'm only accepted at Annapolis then I think I'll go there. :) Easy decision. Knowing God, however, I'll have hundreds of thousands of options and will almost die trying to decide. lol.

My big question/issue right now is what I would do. I really want to go into Intelligence work. I'm applying for a scholarship through the NSA. I think if I were to get that scholarship I'd be inclined to go for it. It's what I want to do and I'd have to do an engineering major. However, I'd be at a civilian university and wouldn't have the awesome militaryness. On the other hand, if I went to Annapolis, I would not be able to do Intelligence as it is a restricted career path and therefore I'd have to be color-blind or something. Of course, the Air Force needs Intelligence officers (according to my ROTC sister who has friends who keep getting Intel.). But I haven't heard from them. And I'm not sure if I really want to go that far. I definitely want to get back to the west coast but Colorado isn't exactly coast. And...I'm just not sure. Do I really want to be a six hour flight away? Do I really want to be in a different time zone? Do I really want to attend a military school? I'm having an indecisive day, in case you can't tell. I get these days where I really question what I want to do and go through this whole circuitous thought process where I get absolutely no where.

So, I'm sending out Christmas cards. I was writing "Love from the _____" on all these letters. And I should write addresses on the envelopes but I'm kinda bored...blah.

I have a poetry-memorization competition tomorrow and I haven't chosen the my poems yet, lol. It'll be interesting... :D

We've Got Each Other

and that's a lot!
Whooah, we're half way there
Whooah, livin on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear
Livin on a prayer
We've got to hold on ready or not
You live for the fight when it's all that you've got
Whooah, we're half way there
Whooah, livin on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear
Livin on a prayer
- Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer"


I just felt like writing that.

Think

I love my calculus course. The professor is sooo funny! He's always saying things like "this graph is nice - graphs are nice. This one's blue but they can be any color - purple, green, anyway..." Awesomeness.

August Burns Red has like the best version of Carol of the Bells ever! Get the X Christmas cd, lol.

Cadet Ball is coming up. One of my friends said she'd go with me. My brother's going. My younger sister is going. I think I'm going to set my friend up with a date for fun. :) And I'll just...go stag...lol. Whatever.

Class finals are tomorrow and Thursday. :D

Hallloooaaahhh

So, I took apart a monitor the other day. It was pretty awesome. I saw all the bits and pieces. Unfortunately, I couldn't take it all the way down to the bare components because part of it was like glued on and I would've had to break it. But it was still awesome.

I pretty much abandoned my MySpace account. I was using it but Facebook is better and, also, MySpace has all those gross stupid ads. And sometimes it doesn't work. Whatever.

I also pretty much abandoned my Xanga. That was a blog. But I like this better. I don't know why - I just do. Maybe because I like the screen-name thing. lol

I have CAP tonight. Maybe we'll actually do the change of command ceremony we should've done back in July... Yeah, whatever. I don't really care because as far as I know, I'm cadet commander now so who cares if we do the big show about it. My mom cares. That's who cares.

Our pastor is doing this cool sermon series thing for December where he uses Christmas carols to base his sermons on. This week it was "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas". Basically, the point was that a white Christmas represents perfection and culmination and all of us want that. However, the Grinch stole White Christmas! (The Grinch being Satan.) But God wants us to have a white Christmas again and so we need to return to Him and depend on Him in this Christmas season. There were a bunch of other points but I can't remember them. Don't have a Grinch Heart - be happy.

So, toodles for now.

I'm Here

So, I haven't abandoned this blog. Although sometimes I really wonder about myself...lol.

I got a bonus at work the other day for helping them meet a sales goal. Cool, cool. Bonuses are nice. :D

Christmas is almost here! Oh my buddha - there's like 22 days left!!! YAYAYAYAYAYYAYAY! I'm soooo excitedly psyched. [EDIT: I can't believe I can't spell psyched right]

I had an interview with my representative for a nomination. Idk how it went...I hope it went well. It was really weird. Like, they asked me what I thought Intelligence officers did, I told them and they said "close...very narrow, but close". I was like, "wait - there was a right answer to my thoughts??"

Dinner time - got to go!