So, Josh started IFS on 4 January. It's been a rough month for me without him meeting me for coffee, calling me everyday, etc. It's really given me a chance to realize just how much I unintentionally have grown to rely on him. I used to think that I would be perfectly fine if anything happened and that when he left for Columbus, it'd be sad but not terrible. At this point, however, I'm already planning trips to visit him while he's at pilot training. It's actually going to be somewhat terrible... I miss talking to him, I miss seeing him but most of all, I miss hugging him. Not even doing anything, just standing there with my head buried in his chest and his arms wrapped around me. It's so comfortable and makes me feel safe and at home.

Which is another thing I've grown to realize. I'm equally at home with Josh as I am with my family. He's become so much a part of my life that I consider him my family. I consider him to be one of the most important parts of my life, right up there with my family. I would do anything for him, as I would my family, in a heartbeat.

How sappy and romantic. This is terrible.

School is going well. I'm enjoying my classes and seem to be doing relatively well. Yet again, this semester people seem to think I'm an incredible genius with a 3.something GPA. Surprise, no. However! I think there may be a chance that I could get above a 3.0 this semester if I really work hard. I believe I could probably pull an A in my philosophy class and also in my probability/stats and failure analysis class. I think I'm looking at a B for machine design and fluid mechanics. As for engineering math and materials science... I'm not really sure. Probably a low B/high C in engineering math. As for materials science...it all depends. I really don't know for sure.

I've been watching "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" (2009 version) with English subtitles. It's very interesting and I'm actually really enjoying it. I think they did a great job in keeping it true to the book. The sexual abuse scenes weren't too obscene either. I mean, it was obvious and disgusting what was happening but they kept it relatively within bounds of common decency.

Tomorrow is Friday followed by the weekend. I can't wait! Hopefully, I'll get to see Josh :)

After a glorious Christmas break, I have returned to USAFA. I'll write about my break in another post. This one will be more emotional ;)

I have been a huge mess of emotions lately. I have quite literally cried everyday in the month of January. It's rather upsetting because I'm not the emotional, crying sort. I just notice Josh and my relationship changing and it saddens me. We've gone from cadets together to a cadet/officer to now, a long-distance relationship where I cannot talk to him on a regular basis. It's especially difficult now because my family is on a cruise and I cannot talk to them either. So, I am, to a certain extent, all alone.

Of course, I'm really not all alone. I've been praying a lot more lately and listening to more Christian music and reading my Bible every night. All things I had fallen away from doing since break began. Just realizing that I have this need to be with people and connected has forced me to draw closer to God and embrace His love and greatness. One of the songs I've been singing to myself a lot lately (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2JR-fUGf-k&feature=related) is "In Christ Alone". The part where it says "my comfroter, my all in all, here in the power of Christ, I stand."

Life continues.